A lesson in International Culture

This Saturday, my team Manchester United handed a debut to its new Serbian player, Nemanja Vidic. Realising that it is now my duty to worship Senor Vidic, I need to know more about him and embarked on a research exercise into his homeland, Serbia and Montenegro. Here are some of the facts I have discovered about this nirvana:

• To save time, I am now going to refer to Serbia and Montenegro as S&M
• S&M-ers fear gerbils when hiking through the woods in North America
• S&M-ites have little grasp of English, but are still qualified to teach the Queen’s language in Asia
• Male S&M-oids will not throw Canadian guys out of the shower if they choose to join them. They will however, use a transparent mouldy shower curtain as a robe if necessary
• S&M are not great at soccer. Guys have been known to be left rolling on the floor in agony after being tackled by girls
• Despite many years of war and looting in the homeland, S&M-icks do not leave their front doors protected and as such, they are susceptible to fall off
• S&M basketball players have never received great press and are therefore likely to frame any old criticism, they are just excited to have been mentioned
• S&M-igonians often have allergic reactions outside Europe resulting in the growth of some bum-fluff underneath their chin but nowhere else on their face
• The remainder of the 21st century will see S&M take over the world using robots engineered at Dalhousie University
• Igor is Gay

Does anyone know anything else about Serbia?

Don't Look MJ - There are Koalas Here

So I'm finally getting round to posting some more Australian photos. I'm just lazy, which is why I'm doing it slowly. But here are some of my favourites from Taronga Zoo in Sydney (with the best view ever) and Australia Zoo in Brisbane, which is the one owned by Steve Irwin off-of tele.









I love this one as it shows how the Savanna outback cannot be taken legitimately with one of the most famous sights of Western civilisation right behind it.



And here are a couple from when we visited the Sydney Aquarium.





This is another of my favourites as it shows the fascination mankind (sometimes) has with nature. Although I must admit, it is a Whisky Dan shot.



PS. Haven't reported on anything new from Wales because nothing new has happened here yet. Have had a couple of games of football, lost so won't mention them, a couple of good nights out in Cardiff but difficult to describe. Oh and I went to a Wedding Fayre with Catrin - we're getting married on September 30th at the Gatehouse in Cardiff Bay! That would be exciting if our little charade wasn't a research exercise. And my Masters is still cool but I wanna finish it quick to get out into the real world (Canada) and earn some cash. TTYL

Regrets

I tell you two things that have really pissed me off for not doing in Australia and I think I need to go back to do them.

1. Watch the water flow the other way in the toilet. After all, that is the one reason the Simpsons went there.

2. Have a photo taken by the Harbour Bridge or some landmark holding a sign saying "Cole Hobson takes it up the Ass." I think we should all start doing this, coming up with new and funky places to have our photos taken with such a sign. Anyone fancy a challenge?

Australia 2 (3 really, 1st time crashed - internet is a pain)

Note to Adam - I'll try to post the photos right this time, but I'm useless at computers. Problem is I'm too busy with other things to learn. However, I'm not as bad as Lois, who even screws up posting comments just like she screws up our circuit training EVERY WEEK! What a twat she is.

OK, so what else happened down under? Unfortunately myself, Dan, Nate and the good Doctah were unable to use the beachside apartment we'd reserved at Cronulla, just outside Sydney. Instead they made us, MADE US, take the penthouse suite for the five nights we were there. So what could we do? Hold numerous piss-ups and poker games, call the escort agency who were advertised in our room and tell every girl we met we were staying in the penthouse? Maybe...

The first thing that needed to be done was to name our FOUR balconies. So we called them after the four bridesmaids, because they were all beautiful and charming, although some had more 'size up front.'

The view from Lisa

From Leanne

From Rachele

And from Amanda


I learnt in Australia that Jeffrey cannot swim. So why the hell did he move to Australia? Oh yeah, I forgot about her. But it did mean he couldn't join us for bodyboarding.



And because the Doctah is a proper man, he couldn't join Richard either, for one of his 'Smirnoff Ice Girly Drinks' parties.



Cronulla also provided us with an excellent base to visit the city. When I first saw the Opera House, I had to go up and actually touch it to realise that I was there and not dreaming.





Yeah, it really is that good. I am so lucky.

Happy New Year

Wow, it's been a while but with good reason. I have just returned from the land down under and with so many shenanigans and mindblowing experiences, I figure it will take more than one blog. So instead of writing one tedious script, I will break my holiday down into several tedious scripts.

Although I have now been back in Wales for five days, I'm still struggling to realise where I am and what has happened. My mind is definately still in Australia and I'm almost in a state of shock as everything happened so quickly and I'm back where I started asking did that all really happen? I am also so completely blown away by the many places I visited but even more so by the incredible people I was lucky to meet. Every single person I came across went out of their way to make my visit as enjoyable as possible and I don't think I will ever be able to make it up to them. I owe so much to so many and you all know who you are so there is no need for me to make a list.

Ok, I'll start with the reason I went to Australia. The wedding that saw Doctah J taken away from us into a life of being told what to do. No matter how many koalas I met or VBs that were sunk, Jane and Jeffrey's wedding was by far and away the best day of the holiday and one of the most emotional days ever. Not only were two of my best friends showing off how completely in love and perfect for each other they are, they did it with one of the most beautiful, fairytale weddings that was beyond imagination.

The ceremony was conducted in the picturesque Camelia Gardens, a perfect setting and lovely service.





I have to admit to having a massive lump in my throat when the girls arrived, just how beautiful are these bridesmaids?



Yeah, they definately showed up those groomsmen who I don't think anybody noticed!



But the most important part of the day was that the happy couple were able to drive off into the sunset together, two of the most deserving people I know.