Friday, June 30, 2006

As Requested

Laura asked me to show her a picture of irony. Well here it is:


I must confess that I did simply enter the word 'irony' into a google images search. However, I was pleasantly surprised to see this image pop up as it has been one of my favourite pictures on the internet for a few years now. But I have always preferred this one:


Have a good weekend!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Wellity Wellity Wellity....Goody Goody Flanders needs help from Stinky Pants Simpson

So Wimbledon is here again, as they say. However, although I can't be sure, I don't think Wimbledon goes anywhere else for the rest of the year. I'll look into it but I haven't seen a suburb of London on the Eurostar just yet.

And what does Wimbledon bring with it? Yes that hysteria only the British can exhibit as they convince themselves our players are far superior to the higher ranked, more successful opponents. Case in point - England at the World Cup. Anyway, this year is slightly different as everyone knows Henman won't beat Federer tomorrow in the 2nd round and despite accepting Murray is an incredible talent, people tend to think he hasn't the physical stamina to maintain his performance over two weeks. Yet. Oh, nearly forgot Greg Rusedski (already out at time of print) who despite being Britain's official Number 1, has been banished to the outside courts that no-one watches. Apparently he's become more Canadian now he doesn't win as many matches as when he first came over here.

But what Wimbledon has also brought with it (back from its holidays) in recent years is the debate over equal pay. Now don't get me wrong, I am perhaps the most chauvanistic person in the world. I believe women should be at home making the tea and not playing tennis. However, if they are unmarried then ok, they may be allowed to pursue other interests, such as playing tennis. And if so, I really am a little ashamed that women players do not get paid as much as their male counterparts at Wimbledon.

People argue that as women play fewer sets than men at the major championships, then they shouldn't get paid as much. Personally, I shout Balderdash! Are they seriously suggesting men train more outside of games? travel more in between events? take longer in the showers? My untrained tennis eye very much doubts this. It's the average players I genuinely feel sorry for, not really that the winner only gets six hundred and something thousand (which the French think is the problem), but those who have to pay their air-fares and accomodation and coaching fees etc. out of their winings, not the millions Nike or Adidas give them each year.

Shit. I guess this means I agree with Venus Williams, who has been the most outspoken tennis star this week. I've never really liked her or her sister but she does make a good argument, pointing out that last year's women's final was longer than the men's. Seriously, Wimbledon should catch up with the rest of us, in the 21st century. Oh and take that more time on the court argument with you when you go on holiday in two weeks time.

PS. Good luck Andre Agassi, one of my favourite players because of his whole attitude towards the game, as he takes on his final ever Wimbledon.
PPS. Title is one of my favourite Simpsons lines and just popped into my head. It would have been "People, People...We're all frightened and Horny" but I used it last year in a group email and still giggle and Jeffrey's reply stating he wasn't frightened.
PPPS. I haven't used many illustrations in this blog recently so here are a few to continue the tennis theme of this post. Ciao!






(Shh...Sharapova's my favourite!)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Never tell me to stop updating my Blog

Anyone want a laugh?

Right, head down to Central Park, New York in the next couple of weeks. Apparently Miss 'Haven't Stopped Eating Since I Got Here' Burman is going to try and shed a few pounds roller skating. Pfft, what an idiot. I reckon the air fare would probably be worth just watching that!

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Computers Suck

And why do computers suck? Well, because you have to pay hundreds of pounds to buy one yet in today's fantastically technologically-driven world they break after just 2 years. Well to be precise, the first laptop I ever bought broke after less than a year when the motherboard did something. So I had a free laptop to replace it. This laptop, 2 and a half years later has to go to the doctors soon to see if its motherboard is knackered. What a gip. And I tell you what adds to the frustration, that I had to call the company at least 6 times to establish that I may have a motherboard problem after receiving a virus at an extortionate rate. Oh, I nearly forgot, with a 20 minute on-hold period. Medion, despite being a total left bollock of a company still makes a fortune out of suckers like me. I really should know better.

So that's one frustration this week. The second being I am currently waiting around to start my dissertation and I can't without my supervisor. However, I haven't been assigned a supervisor despite the process only supposed to take 2-3 weeks, 5 weeks ago. I hate that. I really do get incredibly irritated when someone says they'll do something and doesn't. If you can't that's fine. If it'll take longer than you thought, fine. But please don't promise something based on years of experience and when you don't do it, say nothing. For example, the person in charge of allocating my supervisor emailed me on Monday February 27th saying she was sorry for already going over the deadline for returning an assignment but would have the marks back "by the end of this week, and in any case no later than Monday of next week." I received my mark on the 13th of March, 2 weeks later! That's bullshit, I'm sorry but following her original email I had been checking online every day since. If you can't be sure of doing something, don't promise it. Twat. Hopefully I will soon be able to plan my summer, I think. Yeah, that bugs me.

Honestly, if I hadn't had the world cup to watch this past week I reckon I would have punched at least a hundred people. But that's inexcusable. Really, people should have a very good reason if they want to get into a fight. One instance that is not a good reason is A GROWN MAN PUNCHING A SEVEN YEAR OLD BOY IN THE HEAD in Scotland this week, in front of the kid's dad. Why you ask. Because the boy committed the cardinal sin of.....wearing an England soccer shirt in Scotland. What a dickhead. There is currently a big hunt for this man in Scotland and a reward out for him. Good. Go find him.

Sometimes I really wonder about the people in this country. Has anyone seen those 'fan park' things in Germany? You know, where they have huge TV screens by rivers in picturesque areas of the big cities? Yeah, so people can watch the world cup games with bars and bands and mix with other fans. So, we have the Germans watching games with the Poles together, the Germans watching with the Dutch, the Germans watching with the French, very harmoniously. (Note the common theme) However, guess which country has had to resort to switching off the big screens in its city centres when the football is on because of violence between its own residents? Yes, well done England - we can't show the football in London and Manchester because of too much fighting between the English and the English. Honestly you wouldn't believe the (accurate) horrible reputation of yobbishness and thuggery that goes with being British the moment you set foot on the continent. Wankers.

Before I go, I cannot confirm the sightings of any Serbia & Montenegro supporters at these German fan parks. I think they're all hiding in the corner in shame. But to be fair, I didn't think a two goal head start on a team that has never won a world cup game before and is nicknamed the elephants was enough either.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Changing times - for the better?

It appears the world is continuing to change. Europe is preparing to welcome its newest country since 1993 in the shape of Montenegro, splitting from Serbia despite a population of only around 650,000. Even Wales is bigger than that and we still rely on England for quite a lot!

Now not for one moment would I attempt to provide an opinion on this matter as the only person I know who could explain the situation is a flamer who is currently undergoing an experiment into dating women. By the way, I have been told from several sources she is extremely lovely and charming, which puzzles me further. Anyway, perhaps Igor would explain exactly what this split means to the people of both countries?

From my brief investigations, it appears over 85% of Montenegrans voted but only 0.4% above the 55% needed to grant independence. This means that nearly 45% of voters were against independence, creating a divided nation? And apparently the Serbs aren't to happy as they now become land-locked, harming their tourism and logistics. I really hope that this does not lead to any conflict whatsoever.

Normally, there is so much bollocks going on around the world I try to ignore it. I think if I tried to keep up with everything, it would lead to a state of confusion, mistrust, anxiety and paranoia. So I take the easy way out. However, in the past week or two, the ugly face of terrorism has reared its ugly head again in Britain, despite the absence of any terrorist activity whatsoever.

Whilst I was in London with the backpacking hippies (they were a total cliche), police were busy shooting and arresting terror suspects in another part of the city who they suspected of building chemical weapons. Now I would never suggest we take anything other than the toughest stance possible towards the threat of terrorism but it seems these suspects were completely innocent and simply scared shitless. They were interviewed yesterday describing how they felt when police kicked down their doors armed to the teeth and it didn't sound entirely pleasant.

But what does this lead to? I read about the raid before it was announced it was unnecessary and started thinking about it when on the tube, where 3 bombs were exploded last summer. I vividly noticed how enclosed I was with nowhere to hide or escape if I was there last year. I also noticed 5 or 6 youngsters of an ethnic minority (have no idea how to phrase this politically correctly, sorry) just chatting or whatever and suddenly thought are there people who now watch such a group with suspicion and worry. Not the police, just regular people wary of another attrocity.

How horrible is that? Really, it's racist for a start but also an awful way to live life, in fear and mistrusting others. It's certainly not the way I'd want to live my everyday life. Not that I think any of this will happen in either Cardiff or Montenegro but sometimes I just yearn for an easy going, nothing ever happens life in good old Nova Scotia, where I don't have to give a monkeys about anything. Seriously, there's a hell of a lot of shit in this world, which I think I'm gonna try my utmost to just escape from and ignore. Probably easiest.

Anyway, aside from the state of the world, we're in one of the best times of the year right now. Now is the beginning of summer and that can only mean two things - windows down driving songs and sunshine sheilas. One of my favourite pastimes at the moment is driving - anywhere - windows down, stereo turned up and listening to anything by the strokes, the jam or one of the greatest songs of modern times - COUNTRY GIRL by PRIMAL SCREAM. Download it, you'll love it. Oh and sunshine sheilas, as you know, are those girls who all disappear during the winter and as soon as the sun starts shining again, reappear wearing skimpy little outfits. Which of course you can look at all day long cos they can't see where your eyes are fixed behind those sunglasses you now have to wear because of...err, the increased UV from the terrible damage we're doing to the atmosphere. Awful this global warming, for shame.

Friday, June 09, 2006

London Photos

Does exactly what it says on the tin. You'll notice a lack of touristy/landmarky pics as I didn't have my camera the day we saw all that lot, explained previously. The person to blame for that (surprisingly not me) is Carolyn who said she didn't have my camera in her bag. I chose not to believe her as a result of my continuous hanging out with sarcastic twats (niall, lois, you know who you are).

So here are a couple of shots.

Lauren trying to pick up


Carolyn getting her come-uppance



Matt (not me) and Danielle - some more BC-ers


Danielle and Me (in case you forgot what I look like)


Carolyn and Lauren doing their best impression of typical British girls on a night out (although the trott and lois aren't really typical or British or girls)



A new discovery for me - Dean's Court (I think that's what it's called), just round the corner from Covent Garden. It is very chilled and funky, like most of my favourite places in London.



So that's all I have of London. I must leave you now as the time is exactly 4.40pm GMT, meaning the World Cup kicks off in 20 minutes!!! I always forget how incredible this tournament is, creating some of the most significant moments in the sport. This is the test, where those who are all talk and those who actually are the best in the world are shown for who they are. Colin and Edith on Radio 1 have been playing inspirational songs all day long to create the mood, and they did it for me. I've been so pumped all afternoon I had to go for a run (1st one for over a month - knee seems okish) despite the scorching heat we've had this week. Well, to be honest, I've been doing the British thing of absorbing the sun at all costs this week anyway to try and tan up for when I hit Canada for my hollybobs. I'll pick a date soon, don't panic over there.

Right. World Cup. Enjoy it!

Monday, June 05, 2006

London Busted

What a weekend. I love London, it's so retro and trendy. Although I have been to the city several times before, I still yearn for the life of those who were having a drink on the banks of the Thames or watching the sun set over the skyline from their riverside apartments. It is a cool place to visit.

Obviously the best part was hanging out with Lauren and Carolyn. So very very strange seeing them in Britain. I felt the same last year when Doctah and Dan came to visit (oh no, Dan stayed in Canada) as it's so surreal to see my friends from another world in mine. I am also so surprised that Carolyn is still with us. HOW CAN ONE PERSON SCREW UP CROSSING THE ROAD EVERY SINGLE TIME?!?

In London, it's even printed on the road 'look right' for those idiots everywhere else in the world who drive on the wrong side of the road, but oh my, I lost count of the number of times she was left stranded on a traffic island or had to sprint in front of a cab.

Canadian people are funny. Lauren's friend Matt (not me) got confused getting off the tube when the driver announced next stop 'buru,' expecting 'Burrow' for the stop 'Borough.' We don't have time to pronounce all the letters people! (Note to self - take quotation mark addiction tablets) And both girls loved our bus tour guide for his excessive use of the word blimey! Little things, little things.

Erm what else? Yeah they enjoyed Notting Hill. I know Hugh Grant also thinks so, but it is one of my favourite parts of London, so alternative and funky. Many houses are painted different colours and the market is very different to the norm so it all adds up. Also the fact I have found a fantastic coffee shop opposite the actual travel book shop, somewhere I first had to visit after a 2 and a half year wait. And everyone enjoyed the traditional British curry my new friend Terry took us out for, lovely meal, I'm very grateful to that man. What? It is our national dish according to Tony Blair.

Obviously we did the touristy stuff but hopefully the travellers enjoyed the other things that people like me know about to show them. We saw Notting Hill, not on the traditional tour, picknicked in the grounds of Westminster Abbey and visited one of the world's largest hands-on toy stores, Hamleys. Adam, Carolyn says she could leave you in there for days. However, she also said me and her would have some make-out time when Lauren and Danielle moved to another part of the bus.

One thing a traditional tour of London does not include is the opportunity for a photo in front of a traditional landmark holding a sign saying something about Cole Hobson. Said sign is now winging its way around Europe so keep an eye out. I have a couple of photos which I'll try to get round to posting but not Cole ones as I forgot my camera on that excursion. What is holding me up is that my computer is currently awaiting an operation after suffering two viruses in two weeks so I'm on my brothers. I don't like its manufacturers so am hoping a mate of mine can sort it out for some cash.

Speaking of cash, I'm off to my Grandma's tomorrow for a couple of days gardening. Right now I'm waiting to get the ok for my dissertation so am in a money-making mood. Spent today washing Dad's caravan in the sun, happy days. Apart from that, I've enrolled on an Entrepreneurship module at uni just for the hell of it and perhaps it'll give me a kick up the backside to one day get a proper job. Probably not though.

Ok gang, don't watch your step - mind your step and have fun!